Mission: Rigsby Trout
by tHe dAily ScRibbLeR
Summary: Artemis is engaged to Minerva, Holly is next-in-line for Trouble Kelps' position as Captain, and everything is going smoothly...until Holly gets a mission to reunite with Artemis to find a certain mastermind, Rigsby Trout. DISCONTINUED.
1. Welcome Back

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

_You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of_

_Minerva Paradizo_

_and_

_Artemis Fowl the Second._

_On July the fourth at six o'clock._

_The Fowl Manor_

_followed by a reception._

_Please R.S.V.P by the 25th to Mr. Artemis Fowl._

"So, the geniuses finally got together." Mulch Diggums, ex-convict and previous assistant to Holly Short and Artemis Fowl on many of their escapades, grunted as he scanned the invitation.

"I believe it would be genii." Foaly reprimanded, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, shove it Foaly." Mulch sneered. Foaly, ignoring the previous jibe, added, "Well yes, he must be what? Twenty seven now?"

"Who's twenty seven?" Holly Short asked as she entered Foaly's 'den' as she likes to call it.

"Um, my cousin. Ambrose. Yes, he's quite young that one." Mulch grumbled as Foaly desperately tried to hide the invitation in one of his many drawers.

"Hn, okay then what's that you're trying to hide Foaly?" Holly inquired.

"Ahem, well it's just one of the blueprints for one of my, ahem , uh new inventions...yeah." he replied lamely.

"Way to go, Foaly." Mulch sniggered.

"Hand it over." Holly commanded, holding her hand out.

"Um, no I don't think you want to see it because um well I just d-"

"Do you want me to take it by force?" Holly suggested, her eyes glinting at the thought of it.

"W-no." he gave in, pulling the paper out of the drawer and handing it to Holly. As Holly scanned over the invitation Foaly and Mulch slowly inched further away from the infamously violent elf.

"So, what's the big deal?" said violent elf asked as she mindlessly flicked the invitation to Foaly,

" Er- well we thought that you and still hadn't gotten over Mudboy." Mulch explained.

"What do you mean? There was absolutely nothing to get over." she stated, crossing her arms over her chest and assuming the 'don't get me mad' position that nearly everyone was familiar with.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you and Fowl share each-other's eyes, have gone through many life-or-death situations, oh and have swapped spit." Foaly casually explained.

"N-wait, how did you know about that?" Holly demanded, her eyes blazing.

"I have my ways." Foaly replied mysteriously, in that frond awful calm voice he has. She was about to retort when she decided against it, instead stomping out and slamming the door.

"Hm. Well that went well." Foaly observed once he was sure that Holly was out of earshot, Mulch just rolled his eyes.

* * *

HOLLY POV

* * *

"Mudboy...earth to mudboy..." I exasperatedly said into my fairy communicator...for the billionth time.

"Hello?" a feminine voice chirped from the other end, her blushing face and wet hair quickly coming into the frame.

"Uh-hi. Oh, Minerva nice to see you again-are you blushing?" I asked, not out of rudeness but simply because I'd never seen Minerva blush.

"W-see I w-" Minerva stuttered, something that no genius ever does, until a shirtless Artemis with only a towel around his lower body came into the frame.

"Oh, um-yeah sorry to interrupt. Not that I thought that you were doing anything! Well, not like you're not doing anything because-um yeah I'll go now. Nice talking to you!" I quickly said, looking everywhere but the screen the whole time. I quickly flipped my communicator off and sunk even further into my chair. My heart, for some reason, had begun beating at least ten times faster once Artemis came into the frame.

"Holly, it's Mulch again...so I was wondering if you were thinking of coming to the wedding with me n' Foaly...I mean because you have to R.S.V.P by Saturday and you know how little Arty is with his 'planning' and such."

"Uh, yeah. I'll go." I replied.

"M'kay, well don't forget a gift!" Mulch replied, his voice fading as he walked back down the hallway.

Beep. Beep. Beep. I flicked on my communicator and looked at the I.D, Trouble Kelp.

"I need to vent. Please tell me that we have to track down someone...maybe a troll." I offered hopefully.

"Sorry, not this time Short. I'll send you the files but we're looking for a Rigsby Trout. He's another pain-in-the-ass genius with an I.Q nearly as high as Fowl's now. Get Fowl to give you some background on the Trout, I had him keep tabs on the kid." Trouble said, waving and flicking his screen off after he had talked.

* * *

NORMAL POV

* * *

"Perfect. Freaking perfect." Holly muttered as she dialed Fowl's number.

"Good to hear from you again, Short." a fully-clothed and Minerva-less Artemis said.

"Yeah, about that...so I was calling because I-" she began.

"Wanted to R.S.V.P, right? Yeah Mulch and Foaly already did that for you." he finished for her, thinking he knew the answer.

"No, I actually needed background information on a Rigsby Trout." she replied, a bit irritated by the interruption.

"Oh, right. Yeah, he's quite the upcoming man. He's nineteen and his parents, Lilah and Alex Trout, are highly regarded in the literary community, both having earned both the Pulitzer and Nobel Prize. He was expected to excel in literature but surprised everyone by, at the age of thirteen, earning a Nobel Prize for his works in the scientific community. He's trained under some of the finest physicists and scientists in the world."

"So, he's a genius. Big whoop-de-doo. What does that have to do with me?" she asked.

"He was testing a draft of a new-and-improved radiation detector and he came across a mass of hazardous radioactive material in Russia. He made a note of it but continued his search. A week or so later he came across another region of hazardous material in Antarctica...see where I'm going?"

"All of the stations of LEP." Holly groaned.

"Yes, well he used his connections, did some research, two years of it in fact, and concluded that they were coordinates that always happen to have the same amount of activity every year for the past one-hundred and sixty years." Artemis stated, raising an eyebrow indicating for Holly to 'finish the puzzle'.

"So let me guess, he did more research on those locations, read some folklore, and has come to the conclusion that there are mythical beings below Earths' surface."she replied exasperatedly.

"Correct, Holly. Now not only has he concluded this, but he has convinced a family friend to 'loan' him some equipment usually only used in the army and special forces. Now, he has nearly double the resources that I had when I started my investigation. He also has enough information on fairies to keep them, well you guys, at bay until he is done with his experiments."

"Great. So now what?"

"Well, I've scheduled a meeting with him and you're coming with me."

"How's that going to work?" she asked skeptically.

"Oh, just Foaly's new growth serum, some new clothes, and really good acting." he triumphantly replied.

"Oh, Hell no." she growled.

"Most definitely yes, Ms. Short." he replied formally.

"So what am I going to be, huh? Basically everyone knows that you're with Minerva, it would be bad for your reputation to have a kid by now, your only friends are world leaders and businessmen, you can-" she continued, only to be interrupted by Artemis.

"You're going to be my secretary and niece. My nineteen year-old niece from France. One that has tanned skin, copper hair, dark brown eyes, and just so happens to have a crush on Rigsby." he gave a smug smile and smirked.

"WHAT?" she shrieked.

"Now, now, Holly. I know that you've been dying to replace Kelp as commander and he's going on an undercover mission in Peru soon so maybe I could pull a few strings if you could do this." he offered suggestively.

"Fowl." she growled.

"Come on, Holly. I'll give you whatever you want." he pleaded.

"Well..." she pondered.

"Well what?" he demanded.

"Do you think that you could get Butler to get me a new gun?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah, the works?" he asked, fully knowing the answer.

"Yup." she replied, as happy as a schoolgirl.

"See you tomorrow." he replied cheerfully.

"What? Artemis Fowl you did not just hang up on me. Damn." she muttered, returning to her normal demeanor and heading to her house to pack.

* * *

The Next Day

* * *

"Fowl, you better get your pansy-ass over here before I knock down your sixteenth century door!" Holly hollered.

"I'll have you know that this door is from the fifteenth century." Artemis replied pompously as he opened the door.

"Oh, such an important fact. Thanks for informing me, Einstein." she retorted.

"Nice to see you too." he replied, trying to contain his laughter as she trudged in, dragging her suitcase behind her.

"Not in the mood, Fowl." she growled, glaring daggers at him.

"Fine, fine. So how was your flight?" he replied sweetly.

"Oh it was just peachy." she replied sarcastically.

"Here, let me show you to your room." he said as he grabbed her suitcase and headed up the stairs, motioning for her to follow. He led her into a hall, passed what seemed to be a million doors, and finally stopped at a white door. He opened it, ushered her in, and placed her things on the floor.

"I've got to hand it to you, Fowl, you really know how to treat a guest." she remarked as she took in the vastness of the room.

"Only the best for my guests." he replied, bowing lowly and chuckling as she chucked an orange, from her complimentary fruit bowl, at him.

"Get out of here." she said playfully, tossing an apple at him and laughing as he ducked and scrambled outside. She smirked and plopped her suitcase on the bed, starting to unpack.

"By the way, welcome back." Artemis said, poking his head into her room and smirking as she fumed at him for startling her.

* * *


	2. Nice to meet you, Mister Trout

* * *

Chapter Two: Part One

* * *

"I can't believe I agreed to this." Holly muttered as she boarded Artemis' private jet.

"Oh you know that you just couldn't wait to see me again."

"Oh yeah, I was dying to see you. Can't you see me simply pining to see you?" she replied sarcastically.

"Now try to refrain yourself from showing your immense affection for me, I have a reputation to uphold you know." he teased as he stuck his head up high and looked at her snobbishly.

"Why Artemis, you don't seem to have changed at all." Holly replied, smirking as his expression turned to a grimace.

"Aw you know that's not true, Holly. I mean, I've grown at least six inches and I got my hair cut just last week." he joked, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah, yeah. So how much longer 'till we get there?" she asked as she peered out the window.

"Oh, only a couple hours or so." he replied offhandedly as he too gazed out the jet window.

"Great." Holly replied sarcastically.

"So...what do you want to do for the next two hours?" he asked.

* * *

"Go fish." Artemis said, trying to hold back a chuckle.

"How the Hell are you so good at this game?" Holly demanded as she angrily grabbed another card from the pile.

"I have younger brothers. Do you know how many times I got stuck playing Go Fish or hide-and-go-seek with them?" he stated.

"Really?" Holly asked, sniggering at the thought of Artemis hiding from his five year-old brothers.

"I have to say that I did manage to gain something out of all of it...I became increasingly good at hiding in tight spaces. In fact, once I managed to hide in the dumb waiter...I believe that I got stuck and we needed to get Butler to pull me out." Artemis added, grimacing at the memory.

"Oh, see I always thought of you to be the type to teach them French or Chinese or something."

"Oh, well I did try to teach them how to call a waiter while in France...but we ended up finger-painting." Artemis recalled, smiling fondly at the memory.

"I can just see it...the great Artemis Fowl finger-painting. Man, I wish I was there to see that." she chuckled as she pictured the scene.

"You'd be surprised at how hard it is to finger-paint while trying not to get your two thousand dollar suit dirty." he remarked.

"Oh, such a feat." she replied sarcastically.

"Prepare for landing in five minutes." a bright voice called from the speakers.

"Well, I guess we'll finish this up later." Artemis said as he collected his cards.

"Yeah, yeah. Either way I'll kick your ass in any other game." Holly said, handing over her cards.

"Prepare for landing." the same cheery voice said as they began their descent.

"Artemis, nice to see you again." Rigsby said, offering his hand.

"You too, Trout." Artemis replied, giving a crooked smile and shaking his hand. They then went into a rather long conversation, updating each-other on what had happened since they had seen each-other last (when they worked together on some science project). It wasn't until the end of their formalities when Rigsby noticed Holly standing further behind Artemis.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." he said, leaning to the left to get a better view of me.

"It's fine, Mr. Trout." I replied, my voice still covered with a thick accent.

"Well, let me formally introduce myself. I'm Rigsby Trout." he said, offering me his hand.

"Lorraine Millieux." I replied, shaking his hand. He smiled but gave Artemis an inquisitive look.

"She's my niece. She's going to go to school here. She's from Paris." Artemis explained.

"Ainsi comment font vous aiment Londres jusqu'ici?" he asked, his accent and pronunciation perfect.

"Ah, il est beau. Je ne peux pas attendre pour voir plus de lui." I replied in my, hopefully unnoticeable, imperfect French.

"Cela semble-t-vous gentil, m'aimez-vous vous montrer autour?" he asked.

"Oui, j'aimerais cela. Est-ce que cela vous dérangerait?" I replied sweetly, biting my lip in 'nervousness' for good measure.

"Ce serait mon plaisir" he replied giving me a crooked smile. I hadn't really seen the guy, since I had been practically hiding behind Artemis and all, but it was then that I took in his appearance. He really is quite attractive, he has foresty-green eyes, a tan complexion, dark brown hair in a short yet messy haircut, and was about four inches taller than my new height (so he's about six foot).

* * *

Normal P.O.V

* * *

Artemis sighed as he heard them converse in French. He had never taken up the language, surprisingly since he had taken nearly every other language known to man, and felt a bit ticked that he didn't know what they were saying. However before he could think more of it, they had finished taking and Rigsby had suggested that they rest up, because tomorrow would be a long day.

"So what'd you use for an excuse to get us in here?" Holly asked quietly as they were directed to their rooms, the butler a safe enough distance away so he couldn't hear them.

"I'm working on this experiment and I told him that I needed assistance and that he would be the perfect person for the job." Artemis replied as we rounded yet another corner.

"Oh, and I'm guessing that you've done and double-checked the experiment and are just using this to get into his house and to see how smart he is?" Holly guessed, nearly nailing it.

"How could you think that of me, Holly? I must say that I am truly offended I mean really, I could-" Artemis was cut off by an expectant look on Holly's face

"Fine, fine...I might've triple-checked it." he continued, giving her a rueful smile.

"You wouldn't be Artemis Fowl if you didn't." Holly replied.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Speaking of Fowls', how are your brothers?" Holly asked, having only heard of his significantly younger siblings.

"Oh, both doing well. They're both in their senior year back in Ireland; Myles is looking at Oxford but Beckett was thinking about being the humanitarian of the family and going to Africa to see if he could help the situation. I wouldn't be surprised if, by the end of his trip, the Fowls had made generous donations to the local schools and hospitals. You should see them sometime you're here, you'd like them." Artemis suggested.

"Yeah, that'd be nice...well as long as they don't kidnap me and try to hold me for ransom." Holly joked, looking pointedly at Artemis.

"I'm sure that they'd restrain." Artemis said, flashing a brilliant smile.

"I'm not so sure, Fowl. After all they are your brothers." Holly replied.

"Yeah, yeah." Artemis said as he stepped into his room.

"Mr. Trout will be treating both of you to dinner. Be ready in half an hour." a voice boomed over the intercom, that Holly just happened to be standing next to.

"D'Avrit!" Holly cursed as she covered her ears. "Stupid, fucking intercom." she growled.

"Such a little American, already using cuss words. I'm so proud." Artemis said sarcastically, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

"Oh shut it, Fowl. It's not like you've been Little Miss Sunshine either." Holly replied.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Artemis remarked, later having Holly throw a shoe at him.

"Don't make me come over there, Fowl." she warned.

"Okay, okay. I won-" he replied, only to be cut off by a small voice behind him.

"Miss." a voice came from behind Artemis, causing Holly to jump a little.

"Oui?" she asked, remembering to retain her accent.

"Mr. Trout requests that you wear this to dinner." a young woman said, coming from behind Artemis to present a folded dress.

"O-oh. Merci." she said, daintily taking the dress and looking at Artemis confusedly.

"Something for you too, Mr. Fowl." the woman said, producing a dark tux for him to wear.

"Thank you." he said, shrugging his shoulders at Holly and excusing himself to get ready.

* * *

A/N: As you may be able to tell, I've been re-editing nearly all of my stories so far and this is simply one of the changes. Don't worry though, I'm still working on the next chapter of this story and for putting up with all my horrible timing and crap I'll seriously try to make it come out within next week!! So sorry for the delay!


	3. Entrees with a side of Jealousy

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from _Artemis Fowl_

* * *

Well this is painfully awkward. I thought to herself, squirming in her red dress and sitting in silence as Artemis and Rigsby discussed their absolutely riveting experiment; filled with talk of beakers and test tubes and formulas.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Lorraine. You must be bored to tears listening to us talk about these things." Rigsby said apologetically.

"No, no. I am really quite er-fascinated by all of this." I replied, inwardly wincing at the thought of her being stuck in some stuffy lab instead of doing missions.

"Oh, really? Oh yes, I forgot. After all, you are related to Artemis." he joked, smiling as Artemis rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you know I guess I inherited it from him." I replied, giving a hopefully-convincing smile.

"Mmhmm." Rigsby replied in agreement as he raised his had slightly, signaling for the waitress to come over.

"Hello, may I interest you guys in some drinks to start off with?" the blonde asked as she set down their menus.

"Yeah, I'd love some red wine." Artemis said, flashing her a grin.

"Same for me, please. What'll it be for you, Lorraine?" Rigsby asked, giving her a crooked smile.

"I'll have a Blanc de noirs, s'il vous plaît." I answered in the sweetest voice I could muster.

"Beau choix, coup manqué." I replied, her accent perfect and seamless. After the waitress left Artemis and Rigsby returned to their conversation of the 'experiment'. It wasn't until the waitress returned for their orders that Artemis and Rigsby's attention was diverted from their absolutely riveting conversation.

"I'll have the cognac shrimp with beurre blanc sauce, please." Rigsby said as he handed the waitress his menu.

"I'm trying to watch my weight so I'll have the ratatouille, please." Artemis said as he gave the waitress his menu. Wait-what? Watching his weight? Artemis is like the freaking epitome of health and fitness. Seriously, ever since that life-changing night when he kidnapped me, he started exercising more...okay the first few years he didn't really do squat but, as the years passed, he started up his, now routine, morning and evening jogs and he actually started using that workout room of his.

"-and for you miss?" the waitress asked politely.

"I'll have the blanquette de veau, s'il vous plait." I answered as I, too, handed her my menu. As soon as the waitress Artemis and Rigsby picked up their conversation right where they left it. I pulled out my phone under the table and checked the time, 7:30. Great it's only been fifteen minutes and I'm already bored out of my mind. I quietly excused myself to go use the bathroom and quickly locked the door, pulled out my cellphone, and called Foaly. Soon enough I could see his beady sleep-deprived eyes through a pixelly hologram. See, Artemis and Foaly had my "cellphone" programmed so it looks like a regular human phone and such, but it also has all the powers and abilities as a LEP communicator. It's actually really useful, and it's a lot easier to carry around than that huge helmet-like communicator.

"S-short?" Foaly asked, surprised that I'd called.

"No it's Santa fucking Claus." I retorted, rolling my eyes.

"No need to get your panties in a twist, Holly dear. And what's up with all this American swearing. It is quite the crude habit." he condemned, enunciating the name that I hate so much. I sneered and moved my thumb to end the call when his voice hurriedly interrupted my actions.

"Okay, what was it o mighty Captain Short?" he asked bemusedly.

"That's more like it, Foaly." I chuckled.

"If you could hurry with it, I have other stuff to do you know." he said.

"Yeah, yeah getting there. So I'm stuck with the genuises here-" I began.

"Genii." Foaly corrected smugly. I glared and continued.

"Okay so I'm with the genii here, and I'm bored out of my fu-" I continued, still cross about his bloody smugness.

"I'd prefer 'bloody', Holly." he interrupted, smirking as I fumed.

"I don't really give a shit, Foaly. Anyways, I'm practically dying of boredom and I need you to help me. Although, I'm starting to rethink the request." I said.

"Wait, you the o mighty Captain Short is coming to ask for the help from someone as lowly as myself. Let me rephrase that, you are asking for my he-" he gloated, grinning from ear to ear as if he were the king of the world.

"Don't say it, horse-boy." I threatened as he promptly shut his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll help but you're gonna owe me after this." he said, however giving me a devious smile as he began to instruct me.

-----------------

By the time I had gotten back, the food had arrived and Artemis and Rigsby were talking about some scientist that they'd both met at some charity gala. Okay, no turning back now. I adjusted the small webcam that I had placed on the clip in my hair and took a deep breath.

"Artemis is looking quite good in that suit, right Holly?" Foaly teased from the small microphone planted into my ear and I could practically see him grinning like a dog with a bone. I scowled and rubbed the microphone, making sure to make it as loud for Foaly as possible. Although I heard a few groans from Foaly, as his eardrums have probably suffered some severe damage from that, I smiled and walked to Artemis and Rigsby.

"Sorry, I got a call while on the way back to the table." I said, smiling apologetically as I sat down.

"Oh it's fine, Lorraine. In fact, you came right on time." Rigsby replied as he motioned to the waitress who was currently carrying all three of our dishes. She expertly twirled the plates and set them down with ease, bending quite a bit more than was probably necessary since her shirt dropped down several inches and quite a bit of cleavage was visible to all three of us. Yup, this girl just screams _classy_. I mean really, I could have been Rigsby's date, or even Artemis's date, and here she was just flaunting her er-_assets _as if she hadn't a care in the world. However, Artemis and Rigsby were still making smalltalk, this time their conversation diverted to some molecular display type-thing; it was so fascinating that Foaly, apparently forgetting that they couldn't hear him, chipped in his thoughts on the subject from time to time. Finally, I just excused myself again and turned off the _ever-so-helpful _Foaly.

-------------

Frond I swear, if I have to listen to one more random and useless factoid, I'm gonna strangle both of them. Really, I mean Rigsby thinks that I'm intrigued by this stuff (which is pretty impossible to even imagine right now) so I guess he has a good enough reason to keep on blabbing. However, I'm starting to think that Artemis just enjoys torturing me with all his knowledgeable crap information. I checked my watch _9:45_. God I've survived two and a half hours, you know now chasing after some lowlife amateur criminal sounds really fun. To think that I've turned my nose up at it before.

"-well we probably should be leaving." Rigsby finished as he folded his napkin and placed it on the table. Five minutes later we were out the door, braving the cold winds of a regular night in Ireland.

"Why don't we head to _304_, it's a great little club that's just a few blocks from here." Rigsby suggested, giving us both expectant looks.

"Oh that's a great idea, Rigsby." I said, sounding just a bit tipsy and leaning just a little bit closer to him.

"I don't know, it's a bit late don't you think? Besides, the fiancee wouldn't like the idea so much." Artemis interjected. I gave him a questioning look and realized he was just trying to play the concerned uncle. I have to say that the guy's smart.

"Oh, well we could just drop you off back at the house." Rigsby said, glancing at me.

"I don't know..." Artemis trailed off. I glared at him, what the hell was he doing? This was the perfect opportunity for him to be finding dirt on the guy while I try to squeeze information out of him.

"Come _on_, uncle Arty!" I pleaded, pouting like a six year-old. However, I glared at him once Rigsby averted his gaze.

"Fine." he said, quite reluctantly if I do say so myself.

* * *

Author's Note: Yes, I know I'm horrible to you guys! I'm truly sorry. However, I've been swamped (I'm taking a summer French course) and I've just been all over the map. Anyways, hope you liked it and please leave a comment. :)


	4. Hard Days and Rough Nights

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of _Artemis Fowl_ characters.

* * *

Hard Days and Rough Nights

* * *

**"We'll see you, Fowl." Rigsby called after Artemis as he climbed out of our outrageously fancy limo and began to walk to Rigsby's house. Okay, breathe. In. Out. In. Out. I can do this. I've fought freaking _trolls _what's the big deal about dealing with just another _mudboy_?

"Yeah, see you. Be home by twelve, Lori!" he called after us as we began to close the door.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled as I slammed the door shut and turned to face a bemused-looking Rigsby.

"You know what?" he asked, a smile still playing on his face.

"Hm?" I asked as I tugged at my dress, which was currently inching up to my mid-thigh.

"It's weird because you two act like you're brother and sister or something." he added offhandedly, making me inwardly blanch at the thought. Oh god, _brother_ and _sister_? That'd mean that it was like I kissed my _bro_-eugh. Okay. Focus. What's happening now? Oh, he's taking.

"-so this club's actually quite good and my friends band is playing and they're all right." he continued, a hint of a British accent laced through his voice. Oh god, I do have to say that I knew people with British accents and they could just keep talking on forever and it wouldn't mind me a bit.

"Oh, you're British?" I questioned, a coy smile coming across my face. He smiled crookedly and ruffled his hair. He really is quite cute...well for a mudboy.

"Oh, well I studied in London for about a year or so and I guess the accent just came to me." he said, letting the accent completely dominate his voice.

"Well aren't you full of surprises." I said cheekily as I smiled at him, playing with the hem of my dress.

"I'm fluent in five languages, too." he added, tossing in a little Italian accent as he gave me a taste of his flair for the languages.

"Oh, well aren't you the world traveler. You know, I've never left my hometown up until now." I added, looking out the window as I watched the lights of Ireland sparkle and glimmer.

"Well, thank god for Uncle Arty." he joked, making me have to hold down a grimace for the nickname I'd accidentally given to Artemis just ten minutes prior.

"Oh yes, he can be quite generous. Paying for me to come here, I mean." I added as I turned to face Rigsby. He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Although I hold deep respect for Artemis, I must say that I never would have associated the word 'generous' with him." he said jokingly. For some odd reason, a pang of bitterness washed over me. I usually would agree with Rigsby on this because, well, Artemis _was_ the one trying to kidnap me, but I couldn't shake the thought of all he's done to help us out. Nevertheless, it was him that usually initiated the problem however that seems irrelevant to the point I'm trying to get across.

"He's really not as bad as you think he is, Rigsby." I said in defense of him, I mean it's not like Rigsby's chauffeur is gonna chime in to Artemis's defense and somebody has to.

"Oh please, Lori. He's just about as generous as Ol' Scrooge was. The only time I've heard of him sparing a nickel is when he helped his brother Beckett out with convincing the family to let him go to Africa." he snorted as I looked at him distastefully, grimacing as I inhaled the scent of bourbon.

I rolled my eyes and silently prayed for this night to be over and done with as soon as humanly possible.

* * *

Artemis P.O.V

* * *

"-we're not home right now so leave a message after the beep." the sound of Minerva's voice filled my ears as I tried for the third time to reach her.

"Hey, Minerva. It's Artemis again. Just wondering what you're up to. I've tried to reach you but it seems like you're not home yet for some reason. Maybe you're with Shannon again. Anyways just calling to se-" I continued, only to be interrupted by a very masculine voice.

"Hello?" the man said, sounding very drowsy and a bit inebriated.

"Oh, er-hello." I greeted as calmly as possible. I mean, there's about a million situations that this simple answering of the phone could entail. Minerva could've been taken by some Russian mob and this could be the stupid hit-man. Although, that's very improbable especially since this guy has an American accent and he sounds really tired.

"Who's this?" he asked, or more of slurred.

"Er-who's this?" I asked, rather stupidly since the fact that a drunk man was in my house and possibly with Minerva is a bit unnerving.

"Mike. Again, man. Who's this?" he asked, this time a bit annoyed.

"Well, it's-" I began, only to be stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hey baby. What're you doing all the way over there? Come over to the bed, why don't you keep a girl warm?" a very intoxicated yet very recognizable woman's voice called in the background. Three seconds later and I'd hung up and was in the midst of attempting that deep breathing technique that I'd learned from a famous tai chi master while on a trip to China. When you hear something like that taking place, your mind definitely wanders. I mean, you start imagining how they met, what the guy looks like, why they're together, how you missed the signs, and most importantly what you ever did wrong to make her want somebody else.

* * *

Author's Note: Now most of you few readers left are probably like "Cliffhanger? Really PhoenixTears? After about six months of not updating and you leave with a cliffhanger?!" And I reply with "yes, I am that horrible of a person". I usually hate cliffhangers and leaving a chapter with them but, hey, I'm trying to keep at least a glimmer of interest left in this story. Oh, and the chapter title? I just thought it sounded like an awesome title. Kinda like the Beatle's _A Hard Day's Night_.


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